i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
