i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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