I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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