i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
