I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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