If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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