you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So much rum. So many feels.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize