Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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