the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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