Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
