What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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