people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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