Define "chronic" masturbator.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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