dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
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I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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