Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
