Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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