Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
love makes seman taste better
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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