I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
