I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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