Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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