I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
