So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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