capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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