No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
