i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
