Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
