so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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