But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
