Swine flu. Run for my life!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
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