I'm jealous of your bromance
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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