Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
