You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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