Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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