I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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