Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dignity is for republicans.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
