Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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