I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
third nipple confirmed
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
