In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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