I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
