she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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