He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
