Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
