FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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