An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
