Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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