So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
soo... how was my night?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
