Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
