So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he shaved USA in his pubs
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
