I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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