I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
