He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I need to align my fucking chakras
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