is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
