i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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