On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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