Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
