Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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