Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?