He is an equal opportunity slut.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
