is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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