whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
