You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
