Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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