I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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