I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
