new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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