how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
