Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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