I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
