i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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