Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
