I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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